Category Archives: Life

Strengthened by Gratitude

Faith, Life, , , , ,

Sometimes gratitude comes easily. Sometimes it…doesn’t.

Gratitude. Thankfulness. Gratefulness. Appreciation. Call it what you want; the season is upon us, and it can often bring to mind the things we aren’t grateful for just as readily as the things we are. In a world full of war, sickness, and unfulfilled dreams, sometimes gratitude requires effort.

And that’s okay.

A quick online search revealed that gratitude is frequently associated with a “feeling” or “emotion.”  But do feelings really demonstrate the intent behind gratitude? I don’t think so. It’s easy to feel thankful when someone shows us kindness or things are going well, but how do we view gratitude when we’re in the thick of difficulty?

Lots of gratitude-centered Bible verses are found in the writings of Paul. If you’re not familiar with Paul, he authored more books of the Bible than anyone else and lived life boldly in order to spread the Gospel after Jesus ascended back to Heaven. But living boldly for Jesus back then was, uh, frowned upon, to put it lightly, which resulted in many of Paul’s most inspiring Bible passages being written from prison.

I’m no Bible scholar, but even Paul was human—he most likely wouldn’t have been feeling all that happy or thankful in his natural circumstances when he was shipwrecked or imprisoned.

Thankfully, Paul knew better than most that truth doesn’t depend on feelings. He refused to let his circumstances dictate his views on God’s goodness or the purpose of life or any of those complex issues we tend to question when life gets hard.

The Holy Spirit works within us on a supernatural level when we deliberately refuse to soak in our negative emotions and instead find things to be grateful for. And Paul knew it. He experienced it, and maybe you have too. Finding things to be grateful for, no matter our circumstances, is a great way to invite God to pull us out of our negativity spirals.

Sometimes gratitude flows without any effort at all, and in these wonderful times, we should soak it in and praise the Lord. But when praises don’t flow effortlessly, we need to pause and point our eyes to Jesus. What can he show us about who he is and what he’s doing in our lives? What can he reveal about his bigger purposes? What is he whispering to our hearts? Ask him, and then thank him.

God’s purposes are always greater than our own, even when they haven’t yet been revealed. Once our hearts are centered securely on him, our gratitude will flow whether we just won the lottery or we’re sitting in a prison cell, and his strength will fill us in new ways.

To quote author Ann Voscamp, “Gratitude isn’t only a celebration when good things happen. Gratitude is a declaration that GOD IS GOOD no matter what happens.” And God’s goodness has nothing to do with our feelings or perceptions. His goodness is a truth that cannot be rocked or changed, and that alone is something big to be grateful for.

Cultivating a grateful spirit is always worth it whether it comes naturally or requires extra effort… because God is always worthy. This season, let’s be deliberate to focus in on all the many blessings we have, big and small, and give thanks, keeping in mind that giving thanks doesn’t discount the difficulties we’re facing; it strengthens us to face them.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, American friends! 🙂

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Living in a Desensitized World

Faith, Life, , , ,

I’ve been watching Vietnam War documentaries off and on for the last few years. What started as book research became a personal drive to understand this war that took my uncle’s life and sometimes seems un-understandable. It’s gut-wrenching, yet fascinating.

Viewing dozens of hours of war footage (sometimes through squinted eyes to blur the images) has been an interesting psychological experiment. I am my own case study on desensitization.

As you might expect, I was much more shocked by certain scenes several years ago when I first began this Vietnam War journey than I am now.

Then: That field is completely strewn with bodies, and that village just got burned to the ground. How completely tragic. *wipes a tear*

Now: Another field is strewn with bodies. Another village got burned to the ground. Tragic, sure, but yep—as expected.

In the beginning, I viewed the brutal war footage with much more emotion than I do now, but eventually realized I’d never get through it if I continued feeling all the things. And so, I learned to shut out some of the emotion.

(Side note: I can only imagine being a soldier in the real situation. Becoming numb to death would certainly be a necessary survival tactic, and I have massive respect and appreciation for all who serve or have served in our military.)

Anyway, noticing this desensitization in myself has got me thinking.

Last week, my 11-year-old daughter came downstairs after bedtime. She’d been reading a kids book about France, and it had a couple pages about D-Day. Though not nearly as graphic as it could have been, there were a couple photos of bodies on the ground after the battle, and it bothered her. My husband and I are careful about what goes into our children’s eyes and ears (they have the whole rest of their lives to deal with the horrors of this world, right?), and it was her first sweeping glimpse at death.

The images in her book were “tame,” as far as war goes. But her sweet little mind is entirely unaccustomed to war and death, and I needed to meet her where she was, which I was happy to do. It was a big deal to her, as it should be.

God’s plan was never for our hearts to be forced to “toughen up.” He intended us to live in beautiful perfection. The way I see it, my daughter’s sensitivity to violence is closer to where God meant for us all to be. Growing up in this world naturally involves acquiring layers of mental armor so we can deal with difficulties without constantly feeling hurt, but this wasn’t God’s original intent. In case you haven’t noticed, this world is a far cry from the Garden of Eden, which is the paradise God designed us for. No violence, no death. Just beautiful, peaceful communion with God.

Today, violence is everywhere. Video games, online, the news, TV and movies, commercials. Graphic images have become so normalized that even some Christians consume them as if it’s no big deal.

As Christians, we all have to find the line between living in this world and keeping our eyes on Jesus. And everyone seems to draw their lines in a slightly different place.

The war footage I watch is for research and education purposes. I very much enjoy learning, but I’ll never enjoy the brutalities and death that is part of the package deal. Death is not fun. Death is not a game. And even if I’m a bit desensitized to death when it comes to documentaries, I’m positive I would not have the same blasé attitude toward a slasher film where death and violence are meant to entertain. In this day and age, not everyone who reads this will agree, but horror films seem like a pretty obvious opposite of fixing our eyes on Jesus.

I believe that when death is celebrated and embraced as entertainment, it makes us more and more comfortable with evil and opens doors to mold our minds to look more like the world. And since the Bible says that this world is under the control of the evil one (1 John 5:19), I say a big fat No thank you to things that are so clearly of this world but not of God’s.

Philippians 4:8 tells us to: “. . . Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and praiseworthy.” Scary entertainment choices fill people with anxiety and fear. (For those who argue that they don’t, studies I found during an internet search show that there is a physiological fear response to horror films even if not a mental one.) I would much rather listen to the wisdom of Philippians 4:8 and live with the peace of the Holy Spirit instead.

Sure, desensitization is necessary to some degree in order to survive our modern world. But I believe we get enough desensitization through daily life and education. When given a choice, shouldn’t we endeavor to think about things that are excellent and praiseworthy? Shouldn’t we aim for the goal that God intended for us all along . . . eternal goodness and glory?

And when in doubt (or to keep us from doubt), we should simply let the Holy Spirit guide us. He is faithful to lead, and we can hand him the reins to our lives and our choices with confidence and trust his voice. But it’s up to us to listen.

I know some will take issue with some of these thoughts, so if that’s the case for you, let me know what you think in the comments. Respectful disagreement is always welcome. I’d love to hear your thoughts either way!

Five Ways to Force a Pause and Focus Your Heart

Faith, Life, , , ,

Okay, maybe fall hasn’t technically arrived, but September 1st marks the beginning of fall in my mind. That’s when I bust out the fall decorations and apple spice candles and start mentally preparing for wiener roasts, changing leaves, and all things cinnamon.

Fall also marks our jump back into busy homeschool life. With three kids between 11 and 15, their subjects have gotten a tad more complex than in the early years, and juggling them all tends to max me out. Cross country and basketball take over our days, and meals become a quick sandwich between events. Throw my writing endeavors into the mix, and making space to breathe so that the day doesn’t swallow me up becomes not just optional, but essential.

Sound familiar? Maybe the events of your days aren’t the same, but busyness can quickly consume and sap us if we’re not playing offense. So let’s be intentional!

Here are five ways to force a pause and focus our hearts in the middle of a busy day:

  1. Take five first thing. I am not a morning person and would sleep until 9am every morning if it was an option—but it’s not. I know starting the day off on solid, peaceful footing is important, but that’s hard to do when you roll out of bed and immediately stumble to the stove to make breakfast for the fam (a typical scene at my house last semester…oops). When I’m deliberate to take just five quick minutes alone before exiting my peaceful bedroom, using that time to pray for the day ahead and get my priorities straight, it makes a world of difference in my focus and my attitude, which then is reflected in my kids.
  2.  Plan ahead for a longer time of solitude. Whether it’s ten minutes or two hours, plan out a chunk of time the day before to spend in a way that fills you up and lets your body relax. Dive into a new book of the Bible or a devotional, do some deep stretching, and pay attention to your breathing. Relax your shoulders and your forehead. (Odds are they’re tight right now, yes??)
  3. Phone a friend. Make a real phone call to a friend or relative who “gets” you. The chat doesn’t have to be long, but even a quick conversation with a loved one can do wonders in boosting our energy and mood.
  4. Sprinkle in 30 second pauses throughout the day. When you feel things piling up and your head is spinning, go into a different room (if possible) and quiet your mind for even just 30 seconds. Breathe deeply, pray for peace and strength, realign yourself with what God’s doing in your day, and then return to your tasks at hand. This is often enough to break the cycle of overwhelm that wants to take root.
  5. Crank up some music. Sometimes we can’t physically get away from our busy/stressful situations; at least not in the moment that we want to. At these (and other) times, I turn to music. Music has power and is proven to boost endorphins and make you relax. Worship music strengthens me and helps me get centered, but so can oldies and instrumentals. So turn on something that will fill you with positive messages and bring you joy while you’re in the thick of the busyness, and let it suffice until you can physically take a pause.

And of course, a quick silent prayer for peace and strength requires no alone time or special conditions whatsoever, so go ahead and sprinkle those throughout your entire day too. You’ll be glad you did. Your family will be glad you did. And God will certainly be glad you did. After all, he loves caring for and spending time with his kids. (Yes, you!)

How do you take time to pause during your busy seasons? I’d love for you to share your ideas in the comments so we can all benefit! 🙂  

5 Great Reasons to Read Christian Fiction

Health, Life, , , , ,

We all know someone out there who doesn’t like to read, doesn’t have time to read, or only reads non-fiction. Maybe that someone is you! I obviously have strong feelings about Christian fiction or I wouldn’t spend hours a day reading, studying, and writing it, so I thought I’d share with you five good reasons to pick up a Christian novel and give it a go:

  1. Stress relief. Anxiety, depression, and overall stress levels have risen dramatically over the past few years. According to WebMD, a 2009 study from the University of Sussex found that reading was able to reduce stress levels by 68%. That makes reading more effective at reducing stress than other restful activities like taking a walk or listening to music. (https://www.webmd.com/balance/health-benefits-of-reading-books).
  2. Get to know yourself and others better. How can that be when you’re reading about made-up people, you ask? In every Christian novel I’ve ever read, the characters are like true-to-life people, representative of you and me. Observing their interactions with God and life provides new layers of insight and understanding regarding real people, and has even been shown to increase empathy.
  3. Exercise your brain. Every part of the body needs exercise to stay healthy, and reading stimulates the brain, providing benefits like reducing the risk of cognitive decline and dementia. It also helps you develop better vocabulary and writing skills.
  4. A refreshing break. Like any form of entertainment, reading provides a temporary break from the pressures of real life. Most of us seek out entertainment in one form or another, and grabbing a Christian novel is a healthy, uplifting break, rather than a mind-numbing escape like other forms of entertainment can be.
  5. The Bible says people are glad when they read encouraging messages. *throat clearing* “The people read it and were glad for its encouraging message.” –Acts 15:31. Okay, maybe they were referencing a letter to the Gentiles and not fiction, but I stand by my claim. 😉

Are you convinced yet? Let me know below if anything in the list surprised you! And if you already love Christian fiction, let me know what your reasons/benefits are for reading it. Thanks so much for stopping by, and happy reading!

(And if you aren’t already subscribed to receive my monthly newsletter full of contests, humor, and updates, I’d love to have you join me! As a thank-you, you’ll receive my WW2 home front novelette, Love on a Whim, for free! You’ll find the sign-up on the side or bottom of this page.)

Snoozefest to Fascinating: 6 Reasons to Care About History

Homeschool, Life, , , , , , ,

History used to be my least favorite subject. I’m talking all through grade school, high school, and college, I had zero interest in it. Zero.

As far as I was concerned, the whole subject was a giant snoozefest that I had to pass to get through school (much to my parents’ chagrin). Afterall, it was in the past. What difference did it make?

Imagine my family’s surprise when, five years ago, I decided to start writing historical fiction. Suddenly, they saw me become obsessed with the Revolutionary War (thank you, Hamilton!), World War 2, and Vietnam. (Shout out to my supportive husband who listens to me excitedly spout all my newfound knowledge as I learn!)

I now laugh, and feel a little bad for, my former history-hating self.

If you or the kids in your world fall asleep whenever history comes up, I encourage you to consider the following points, and maybe you’ll learn to love history too:

  1. An understanding of history is empowering. Remember — there’s nothing new under the sun, and since history is cyclical, studying how and why things occurred in the past gives us insight on how to move forward. This broad depth of understanding is empowering!
  2. It’s okay to not know everything. There is a LOT of history to learn, and while I want to be sure to understand certain main events, there’s no way I’ll ever know it all — and that’s okay! So dive into whatever you deem relevant or interesting. There’s no scoresheet. (Thank goodness!)
  3. Videos can help. Here me when I say I love to read. I really do. But for some reason, it’s difficult for me to digest history books and remember anything I read. I engage and retain better through video form—at least when it’s a substantial chunk of information. So hit up YouTube or the library or wherever you can find trustworthy videos, pop some popcorn, and settle in!
  4. Look for parallels in modern society. It’s always fun to connect the dots of what you’ve learned to something relevant today. Like I mentioned in point number one, history is cyclical, so it shouldn’t take too long to find a comparison!
  5. Know that those with an understanding of history are forward-thinkers. Teaching kids the importance of history (not just teaching them history, but the importance of it) means raising empowered, forward-thinking kids. We can only move forward in a healthy direction if we’re able to first look back to understand where we’ve been and why. Remembering is the only way to avoid the same mistakes that were made in the past.
  6. Knowledge of history helps set the stage as you read historical fiction! 🙂 It’s a lot easier to get into the flow of your book if you’re already somewhat familiar with the context and events.

You may not have the same reasons I do for diving into history (historical fiction writing and an interest in family history), but I’m sure you have reasons of your own. Every person on the planet can benefit from an understanding of history in some way, shape, or form.

Now what can you do this week to learn something new? Try doing an internet search for something you’ve always heard of but never quite understood. Maybe something like “Stonehenge” or “the War of 1812.” Anything that comes to mind. And then dive in—for two hours or two minutes; it’s up to you.

And if you don’t care to read fifteen-page articles, let me share with you my little shortcut. Try searching like this, for example: “the war of 1812 for kids.” Adding for kids to the end of your search term will lead you to more abridged sources, but still give you the meat of the issues. You’re welcome. 😉

And what does the Bible have to say? “Remember the days of old, consider the years long past; ask your father, and he will inform you; your elders, and they will tell you.” –Deuteronomy 32:7

Let me know your thoughts in the comments, as well as what topic you plan to dive into soon!

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