Tag Archives: kids

What’s in Your Mirror?

A few weeks ago I had an exceptionally long wait at the chiropractor. As a stay at home mom my three kids were with me since, lucky kids that they are, they have no choice but to go where I go. Thankfully my kids each brought a book to keep themselves occupied. And occupied they were! My six-year-old was buried so deeply in her Sophie Mouse book I had to remind her to watch where she was going. Her nose was buried the entire time we walked to and from the appointment room!

During our visit that day, I had several people compliment the fact that my kids were reading books. Actual paper books. One young man who worked there was pleasantly amused, as if it was a completely foreign sight to him. Unfortunately, it probably was.

I couldn’t help but smile at the handful of comments and compliments as we left—me, with my own paper book tucked into my purse.

Yes, we are raising three young avid readers (for now anyway). How? By being parents who read. Novel concept, right?

You see, kids do what is modeled. If the influential adults in their lives consistently act a certain way or do a certain thing, it’s a good bet those kids are going to grow up and doing the same. It’s certainly not a new idea, but sometimes a reminder is warranted.

Kids aren’t the only ones—other adults in our lives may subconsciously end up reflecting what they see from us as well. It is said that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Who are you spending time with? Who is spending time with you?

Is it time to become more deliberate about who you’re spending time with, in order to be more deliberate about who you’re becoming? Seek out healthy influences in your life so that you’ll be strong enough to be a healthy influencer in somebody else’s life.

Knowing that people are modeling themselves after you (whether they’re aware of it or not) may feel like a lot of pressure, especially with kids involved. But listen—we don’t have to carry the pressure. We just have one job here and it’s totally doable.

Our job is to spend enough time with Jesus so that we reflect him. Then, when our kids or friends start to reflect us, they’ll actually be reflecting Him.

So what is it people see when they look in the mirror of your life; what are you reflecting? Contentment and joy or frustration and sarcasm? Confidence and peace or insecurity and discontentment? Love and kindness or a judgmental spirit?

If it’s the former of these options, keep pressing in to God so you can keep reflecting his goodness. If it’s the latter of these options, start (or keep) pressing in to God so you can begin to look more like him. No judgement, no pressure, just one foot in front of the other while you’re taking your next step.

We’re all on a journey. No human other than Jesus is ever going to fully reflect the qualities of God. But that doesn’t mean we can’t keep trying. So deny the pressure you’re inclined to put upon yourself, for your own sanity.

Who are you reflecting today? The snarky co-worker across the hall? Your seemingly always discontent spouse? A reckless friend? Or God?

God’s the only one worth reflecting after all.

What’s in your mirror?

I’d love for you to leave me a comment below and let me know your thoughts! (If you’re on your computer, you’ll have to click on the blog post title and then you’ll find the comment section at the end of the post.)

Dear Self: Look Away From the Screen

Dear Self,

Before you pick up your phone one more time to check whatever it is you think you need to check, stop. Look away from the screen. There are three little faces nearby, watching. Absorbing. There is no move you make that is lost on them. Always observing. Gauging their own importance to you. How often are you staring at a screen? How often are you looking into their eyes?

Before you pick up your phone again or open up your laptop (“just real quick”), remember this. God put you in charge of governing these three precious young lives. What do you want them to remember when they’re grown? That Mommy was always staring at her phone? That Mommy was disengaged when they were ready and willing to engage? Their willingness is not indefinite. Choose carefully how you spend your time.

And when they have families of their own.  When they’re parents, will they stand in the corner staring at their phone because that’s what parents do? Or will they look into their eager children’s eyes and ask questions about their day, truly ready to listen to the answers, because that’s what parents do? What are you modeling?

Before you go off (again) on how much you actually hate technology and how addictive it is, remember this—it’s not inherently bad. Like guns. Or painkillers. It’s all in how you use it.

You have the power to set aside specified chunks of time during the day to do whatever business you need to do online. That’s being responsible. Do it.

Grabbing your phone every time you see it or think about it—that’s irresponsible. Fight the urge and you won’t regret it.

Two daughters and a son. The way their minds are wired. The warmth and presence they feel from you. Their view of parenting as they grow. Their view of God. That’s what’s at stake here. Yes, the stakes are quite high.

Don’t just let each day happen as if it’s beyond your control to make a change. Be proactive. Make a plan. Be deliberate about the time you have left with your children. Just like all the parents with grown children have ever said to you, “one day you’ll blink and they’ll be gone.”

You don’t have time to think it all through and make a plan, you say? I would venture to answer that you don’t have time not to.



I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. And while you’re at it, please sign up to receive future blog posts directly to your inbox. Thanks!