Tag Archives: no guilt

Be Encouraged: Diamonds from Pressure

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Have you ever received a note of encouragement from a friend or relative? Something that really speaks to you and gives you the strength to keep going for another week, day, or even hour? It can be a game-changer, can’t it? Sometimes all we need is to be seen. To be reminded that our plight matters. That our struggles aren’t in vain.

While my encouragement may not be as effective as receiving it from someone who knows the individual ins and outs of your heart, here is my best attempt to encourage you when life feels overwhelming…

Dear Friend,

I know things are hard right now and it stinks that you have to go through it. But don’t lose your hope. What the enemy means for evil, God promises to use for good (Romans 8:28). Whether you’re dealing with fear, the death of a loved one, scrambling to figure out your child’s schooling, having relationship difficulties, struggling with work, family, or the lack thereof, God wants to cover your soul with peace and assurance. He wants to provide you with that deep soul-rest you’ve been craving that you just can’t seem to attain through your own efforts (Matthew 11:28).

You know how you feel like the demands on your time and energy will never end, and you’re left emotionally wrung out and frustrated? I understand; life is heavy sometimes. But maybe it’s time to reevaluate. Say no to extras. Prioritize. And yes, kids’ activities like soccer and cross-country count as extras.

Minimize. Breathe. Remember these three words: You Are Enough. And no, I didn’t say you are doing enough. Regardless of what you’re doing, you’re already enough because you’re you; not because you baked two hundred cupcakes for the bake sale or spent all your free hours volunteering.

God made you because he delights in you. Soak in that for a second.

The God of the universe delights in you. Not for what you can do for him, but because of who he made you to be.

Be.

There’s beauty in that tiny, simple word. Freedom, even.

Be. Just be.

Parents, remove the pressure you’re carrying. Tear it off like a sweater on an August day in Indiana. You don’t need it. What you (we) need instead is an active partnership with the God who made you and your child from scratch. Walk alongside him minute by minute, seek his wisdom and provide for your children, but take off the pressure. Throw the guilt away in the same manner—like a long-john shirt under your sweater on an August day in Indiana. It’s unnecessary; hindering, even. You don’t want the guilt, you don’t need the guilt. Instead, move forward. Pray.

Yes, there will be things you miss and forget. There will be gaps. You’re not perfect. No human is besides Jesus himself. Stop expecting so much from yourself. You know how you extend grace to others so often? Do that for yourself.

Be thankful. Even in seasons of difficulty we all have things to be thankful for, whether big or small. Whether it’s cozy socks, five minutes to yourself, coffee, clean water, or your family, start listing things you’re thankful for out loud.

Thankfulness begets thankfulness.

You are only one person and you are enough, whether other people recognize it or not. This is between you and God. You and that inner voice.

Turn on some inspiring music, youtube something to laugh about (Brian Regan is a great, clean comic if you need somewhere to start), whisper a prayer of thanks, and take a deep breath.

You’re doing great.

And when you’re discouraged, remember this: a diamond is formed only through intense amounts of pressure.

Your Friend,

Jessie 😊

PS — Here are a few links to some of my favorite means of encouragement/rest. Brian Regan, Live From Radio City Music Hall (he never fails to make my entire family laugh), Lauren Daigle, How Can It Be (my go-to worship album for encouragement), Power Up (a novel to bring spiritual encouragement to ages 8+). Leave me a comment to let me know your favorite sources of encouragement — I’d love to hear from you and check out some new ideas! And while you’re at it, go ahead and drop your email in the subscription box–you’ll automatically receive a printable of my top 10 favorite quotes for encouragement, and I’d be honored to send you new blog posts and encouragement straight to your inbox!

No Guilt: Motivation for the Homeschool Parent

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Let’s be honest. Homeschooling is a privilege. A blessing, even. There are days that feel downright storybook. I fall asleep those days with these thoughts running through my mind: We rocked it today! No tears, minimal complaints, I’ve got this down! Did I mention these days are few and far between? Oh, they are.

More often than not, the end of the school day leaves me with these thoughts swirling: What just happened? What do I think I’m doing here? As if I’m capable of holding this all together!

Honestly, I guess most days fall somewhere in between. Or maybe the average day captures all these thoughts at various times; that’s probably more accurate. Am I the only one? It may feel like it at times, but I know I’m not alone.

Social media feeds are rampant with photos and captions of the perfect homeschool experience. Beautiful, intentionally decorated learning spaces. Happy children doing complex experiments. Schedules and planners so fancy they should have their own Instagram pages.

You want to know what our homeschooling space looks like? It looks like a messy countertop, probably still scattered with breakfast crumbs. It looks like the living room couch, surrounded by abandoned dirty socks (I think those things multiply if left overnight). It looks like a nook in our unfinished basement, chilly and peppered with storage tubs, but stocked with books and old school desks to boot. It looks like an out-of-place bookshelf in our kitchen, because we have limited space for our schoolbooks.

Our “good enough for me” homeschool space.

I’m done pretending I’m going to “get it all together.” If you’re a mom who enjoys interior decorating and creating a peaceful, intentional learning space, go for it! Do it and enjoy it! And if you’re not? (*raising my hand high*) Don’t stress; you can give your children all they need regardless.

Are you researching yourself to death trying to find the ever-elusive, perfect curriculum? I give you permission to settle for a “great” curriculum and end the search. Until you need something that works better for a different kid, that is. And then the search inevitably continues…

Are you wondering how so-and-so mom balances forty-seven activities, keeps a perfectly clean house, and cooks healthy meals three times a day? Here’s a secret; they don’t. Even if it looks like they’re keeping it together, and even if they think they are, they’re not. There will ultimately be a payoff for hectic schedules.

If your priorities look different than the homeschool family down the road, embrace it! Have a play date, put on a (big) pot of coffee and compare notes with other moms! Laugh about your failed attempts and cheer each other on for what’s working!

Whatever your homeschool day looks like, make it yours and make that enough. Make it your goal to lie down at the end of a day with these thoughts running through your mind: I showed up for my kids today. I was present with them, we accomplished plenty of things (even if it wasn’t all I originally hoped), and there were more smiles than frowns. Whatever we didn’t get to today, we’ll get to eventually and my kids will be okay. No guilt.

And then remember the most important ingredient of all to a successful homeschool life: Give it to God. Stop trying so hard with your own efforts. Place your control in his capable hands and sleep peacefully, knowing you have another chance in the morning and he’s got your back. He’s guiding you as you guide your children. Isn’t that a relief?

Thanks for reading! What other homeschool or parenting topics would you like to see me attempt to tackle here? I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions in the comments.

And if you’re searching for a way to supplement your kids’ Bible teaching, my tween/teen novel, Power Up, is a great way to encourage kids to embrace an active, living faith of their own! Find it here or here!